Pregnancy Thoughts at 31 weeks
If there is one thing I’ve cherished so much throughout my pregnancy journey, it would have to be the spectrum of support and “support” I’ve received. Notice one has some valuable air quotes around it because if there is also one thing I’ve learned to cherish and value, it’s the facade of support too.
That’s the interesting thing about pregnancy—everyone has something to say about it. Good, bad, or indifferent, I’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t have an opinion to share about what I’m supposed to be doing, eating, consuming, buying, believing, and probably a whole bunch of other stuff that my pregnancy brain is forgetting to mention. From diet and exercise to managing my appearance to where I choose to give birth or my preferences on raising a family with my beloved husband, there’s much to take in from others. For a while, I was taking it all in—no matter if it was support or “support.”
At 31 weeks and many engaging experiences throughout my pregnancy, I thought I’d share some thoughts. It’s been a wild ride so far, and there’s a lot of love to take in and explain, even if some of the moments didn’t feel as loving as I would’ve expected. Call these thoughts, call these lessons. Either way, I know pregnancy can feel a little lonely, and knowing that there is someone out there feeling with you can be so influential during such a vulnerable time.
Here are 31 thoughts for 31 weeks 💛 in no particular order*
Every single pregnancy is different. No joke—it doesn’t matter how overlapping it may feel to listen to like experiences; no two pregnancies are the same. So, if someone is attempting to compare, always remember to take the comparison as more of an " ah, thank you for sharing” rather than an “oh, so this is my path.”
It’s honestly no one’s business why you want to have kids when you do. Let’s face it: conception is a personal exploration, and it is one that many may experience more quickly than or slower than others, or even, sadly, not at all. Either way, whether you get pregnant right away or later on, it’s no one’s business (unless you feel like sharing) of your fertility journey. I got pregnant relatively quickly after my husband and I tied the knot, and one comment was about how quickly it happened, and I would respond with, “Well, I didn’t get married to hang out with my husband.” What people don’t think about is what thoughts might be going through the mind of a woman who understands that the capacity to get pregnant won’t be discovered until you’re essentially “doing the do” and seeing what happens. We are blessed even to have made it this far.
Pregnancy has an interesting rep for being this sort of nightmarish adventure. However, I love it. This is not to say my pregnancy has not had its challenges—I’ve felt very connected to this entire journey, and feeling my little girl move is proof at this point of how worth it everything is. For context, unfortunately, at the end of my first trimester, I contracted pneumonia, which was incredibly scary to have during such a sensitive time. I could barely breathe, barely eat, and I was so nervous my poor little cookie would pay the price for it. Then, at my 16-week appointment, we found out that she had a little buildup of fluid in her brain that would go away (but that is still so nerve-wracking!). Then, at my 20-week appointment, we found out that I had what appeared to be a short cervical canal, which put me on a modified bedrest due to fears of preterm labor in which my little cookie might not have made it. THEN, at my 24-week appointment, we got clearance that my cervical canal did shorten a little bit, but now they have stopped counting that, and we are essentially praying to keep making it week by week.
Each week truly feels like such a win. As I am beginning to wrap up my 7th month, thinking back to where I was at my 5th month, I’ve never been more grateful for reaching each Monday because I then know that my little girl is continuing her bake ❤️
I love my husband so much and am so blessed that he is there for me the way he is. Will he ever understand what I’m genuinely going through—no. I don’t expect him to. He has his role, and I have mine, and it’s been lovely to see that unfold. Is it perfect? Also, no, but is it all mine—most certainly.
Laughter feels so different during pregnancy, especially as the little girl grows. I feel like my laughter is more powerful than ever before—somehow, feeling the kicks and pushes during an intense belly laughing moment makes me feel like a little superwoman for baby because all those happy hormones are going to her, too!
Time has flown by, and as much as I’m sure I’ll miss certain parts of this journey, I’m actually glad that time is going by quickly. It means I’m having a better time, even when I’m not constantly feeling my best.
I completely understand that every woman is different when it comes to how she may feel about her body. I would be lying if I said I feel so beautiful. HOWEVER, I would not be lying if I said that being pregnant is the most womanly I’ve ever felt. It’s like a status symbol that I’m proud to wear and proud to say that my husband is the one with whom I get to share that status.
I feel like I’m practically forced to slow down. As someone who loves to keep it moving, pregnancy has really taught me the importance of listening to my body for when it is time to rest—which feels like it is all the time at the moment, but hey, growing a baby is not a lazy lady’s job!
This one makes me a little sad, and that is how the most critical group of people towards a pregnant woman’s experience and preference for pregnancy, labor, and birth are from women. What I’ve figured out is how, as connectors, we like to think of other people’s experiences as an extension of our own thoughts and experiences—that somehow another woman’s choice around this realm is either a confirmation/validation or an attack that must be met with defensiveness. Unfortunately, it can be a real relationship killer if it falls on the latter side of the conversation ☹️
Diving into my faith has been a real game-changer in the way I think about pregnancy, labor, birth, babies, and everything in between. I feel very much called to have children now that I have, at least, the capacity to conceive. It’s powerful for me to think this way and has eased my anxiety around this journey!
As much as doctors are an incredible tool during this adventure, I know it is crucial to research different “standard practices” to ensure full informed consent to continue.
There’s not enough support for women’s birthing preferences. Period.
Anemia is genuinely one of the biggest challenges for me at the moment.
When women talk about the existence of vivid dreams, I genuinely think that they are exaggerating—nope. They are real. They keep me crazy. They keep me awake, lol.
Don’t share unless you’re prepared to hear an opposing view. When I first started sharing my birth plan goals, in particular, with others, I was sooooo not ready for the backlash. It caught me off guard because I figured that women having different goals and preferences was simply part of being a pregnant woman. Similar to what I said in bullet point 10—if the preference seems too foreign or unintentionally offensive towards another, it’ll likely be met as if it’s an extension of the other person rather than being seen as a completely separate entity for the woman talking about her preference.
Don’t let the “bad” pregnancy and birth stories get to ya. I feel that every birth story has value. So many women get weary, at times, with sharing because they want to be supportive at the price of being honest and transparent about all of the different avenues that birth and labor can go. While at the beginning of my pregnancy, I would’ve probably felt a little differently, at this point, I’ve learned the power of knowing all the different outcomes as to think about questions to ask my healthcare providers to ensure informed consent around potential issues.
I genuinely believe, now, in keeping any medical plans (💉) for your child private and only between you and your partner. I open my mouth a little bit, and WHAM, I am hit with a bunch of input that I wasn’t even asking for. It really doesn’t matter to others what you do, and you are the most crucial voter for your child.
Doctors and healthcare providers might not like to be challenged on their procedures and protocols, but who cares? It’s a life I’m carrying—I deserve to know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, and if the reasoning sounds ridiculous, then an informed decline is perfect 👍🏻
Unless people around you are talking with your doctor about your “do’s and don’ts,” any opinion by outside people means nothing. I’ve had interesting moments at my job where people commented about things they saw online or my presence when I showed up to an all-sitting function, questioning the validity of my “condition.” I didn’t realize these individuals were so invested in my conversations with my healthcare providers—had I known they were that close, I would’ve changed providers 🤣
One thing that pregnancy has taught me more than so many other things is the importance of slowing down and becoming very intentional about where my energy goes. Because I feel so many changes in my body and I’m simply more tired than ever before, I realize that I have to be very particular about what I do with my time. It’s helped me to be a lot more aware of those I keep in my circle, which is a beautiful experience.
Pregnancy rage is real 🔥 I have gotten good at managing it when it comes, but I do slip once in a blue moon, and when I do, I have to give myself a lot of grace and remember that hormones are a handful and can be hard to work with. Acknowledging when it’s coming is 90% of the battle, and the remaining 10% creates space for me to cool off.
So many products are not as pregnancy-safe as we might think, especially skincare products with oils. Make sure to research everything you want to put on your face and skin. I can’t tell you how annoying it is that some of the products aimed explicitly at pregnant women have chemicals that are fundamentally unsafe to use.
I love feeling my belly move. In fact, I refuse to leave the bed in the morning until I feel her little kicks. Something about that sacred, special moment brings peace to my day.
Feeling baby girl move while working on going to bed helps me sleep faster. I know some women will complain of being kept awake by their little ones, but I have found myself immensely grateful to have such movement that it rocks me to sleep!
I didn’t truly understand unconditional love until becoming pregnant. I didn’t realize how many conditions I feel I have with others to have a healthy and happy relationship. In contrast, with my little cookie, I already feel like she can be the most significant handful, and I’ll still be absolutely in love and obsessed with her. When my mom told me about this unconditional love, I got it.
I have told my husband this, and I’m going to share this with you as well— I am not the same person as I was pre-pregnancy. Even though there might be parts of myself that seem familiar and typical of how I’ve always been, going through pregnancy has altered my mind entirely. I don’t think the same way I used to; what I value is evolving to include the well-being of my family in a capacity I never knew I could achieve, and I am entering a sense of maturity that feels very new.
I started reading…better yet…devouring the Hypnobirthing book by Marie Mongan, and I couldn’t recommend it more. I am not even halfway through, and I’ve learned so much about the history and mindset evolution around birth and labor. With the mainstream rhetoric around pregnancy, labor, and birth being rooted in fear and our inability, as women, to listen and know our bodies physiologically, it is very refreshing to be exposed to a more empowering way to see this journey no matter what turns are taken.
Sometimes, when I think about labor and birth, I get nervous about the outcomes of my own well-being along with my little one. I would be lying if I said that mainstream rhetoric doesn’t still get to me a bit, and it requires a little more hard work to believe that I can get this far and beyond 💛
Do PT during pregnancy. I can’t tell you how weak I was/am, especially after being sick with pneumonia and being on modified bedrest; however, going to PT to strengthen my body back up has given me so many more feelings of empowerment over my body’s ability to move. Plus, it’s great to have that guided exercise if confidence in movement is not where you are.
If there’s one significant word of advice I could share, it would have to say that social media can be an excellent tool or an awful emotional weapon during pregnancy (and I’m sure everything else). I’ve found wonderful doulas, midwives, and healthcare providers who are very comfortable providing valuable nuggets of wisdom that, when cross-checked, are great to use. I’ve also found myself in the comparison gap with other pregnant women who are always looking so polished and making all the right choices to share with the world, and I end up questioning my own inadequacies. Either way, being aware of what you’re consuming is really important. MAKE SURE ONLY TO CONSUME WHAT HELPS YOU 🥰
Well, here we have it—31 thoughts/lessons for 31 weeks. Tomorrow, I will G-dwilling welcome the 32nd week, and I pray to continue sharing with whoever cares to read ❤️
